VENT.

Hello. I need to vent. Don't know why I'm letting you know, no one reads this anyway. But, can't say I didn't warn you.

I'm becoming very happy with my routine, I'm eating healthier than I ever have, I'm looking great, getting strong. I'm falling in love with my body again. I am losing weight without trying because of trying to eat my best. But that has little to do with why I need to vent, though it has to do with a little.

First, I will start with work. I'm not enjoying it anymore. I love teaching, I have loved teaching. Art is in every part of me. I still get excited when I reach a kid and they light up with the desire to create! Don't get me wrong, there are still parents raising some wonderful children out there, and I applaud them. Please, don't stop doing what you are doing, you might be raising our future leaders that can save us all.

But I am growing weary. Some kids wear you down, suck the life out of you, and force you to focus solely on them, to babysit them. Honestly, I'd be lucky if it were only one. But it's not. It has become constant. Each class, I have several. They act so entitled. They talk to me like I'm their age. They try to boss me around. They are rude. They comment on my appearance, my clothes, my hair. They bad-mouth other adults. Drama. They talk back. They roll their eyes. They do not listen. I repeat myself until I am blue in the face and losing my mind. They don't like to color. They wish they were in gym (I DO TOO), their artwork looks like they did it in 5 minutes (they did). They have little to no imagination, they want me to do their work for them. I have to constantly get them back on task. I have to make sure they don't mess with anyone, break anything, throw anything, yell at the top of their lungs, slam the door, put water in the glue, slap others with rulers, draw on others with markers, leave a mess, playing on their cell phones, using foul language, skipping class, chewing gum, pull their pants up, showing cleavage, or eating, eating, eating, eatING, EATING (always fucking eating!!). They don't care about anything. Trying to get them to care is a song and dance, and then, they still don't care, and I'm exhausted. I am worried if I don't get out soon, I may never want kids.......and this is middle school aged children, not babies. They should know how to act by now.

And on the eating. These kids get snacks everywhere, they are in the cafeteria, we hold "concessions"as a "fundraiser" twice a month. These kids eat crap constantly. No one even cares! So many of our students have diabetes, and are overweight and even obese. So are their parents. While on my own journey to be healthy, I've discovered so much about clean eating, and how many bad things are put in the processed food here in America. It's disgusting. But no one cares. In my eyes, the worst part is that I know, and I know I can't try to help, because no one will listen or care. In my heart, it feels like I know the cure for something, but they like the poison too much. I'm not a vegetarian, but you know the stereotype of the vegetarian talking to the meat eater having a hotdog saying, "Do you know what's in that?" Only I worry about all the GMOs, MSG, and other terrible chemicals in our food that is killing us. These kids, every class, have food in their back packs. And they don't ask if they can eat, they just do it. It. Drives. Me. Crazy.

I have been teaching for 6 years, and each year I swear they are getting worse and worse. In other words, it has yet to get better. There are always, always the ones I love and wish they would never move on to high school, but lately, that reassurance has not been enough. I have found myself dreaming of other careers, and having a different life with my husband and dogs. I want to move near my family and start a family there, and get the hell out of here. I tell you, I am sick of everything.

Even the adults around here. Everyone is so closed minded. Religiously. Racist. Homophobic. All the culture and world awareness, global issues, earth and animals that I cherish so much is replaced by narrow-minded people. The Obama jokes are a dime a dozen, but of course no one assumes for a second that I voted for "someone like him". No one different fits in. I don't fit in.

After discussing a few bad apples and making a joke about this being my birth control, today two of my co-workers were saying how I'll want kids and it'll be all different when it's my own. You don't fucking say? "You don't know, you could have a kid soon, you can't plan for it! I wanted to be 32, but I was 27 when I had mine!" So what. "I have a friend the same age as me (40 something) and she has a newborn and a second grader! But I have 3 and my youngest in is high school!" Well isn't that nice. FOR YOU. "She's so run down being that age with young kids!" Can I mention how I'm getting fit so I can run around with them? I won't be run down. "Well you don't know that!" YOU DON'T EITHER. I honestly couldn't even really say my own opinion! Not to mention that I've only been married for 3 fucking months, not to mention that I'm not ready for kids, not to mention my husband isn't ready either (he's 22), we live in a one bedroom apartment, husband is trying to finish college, we are trying to pay down debt, EXCUSE ME IF I WANT TO HAVE A FUCKING PLAN BEFORE I START SPEWING OUT BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heaven forbid that someone in this hick-ass town have all their ducks in a row before they have a family. (Or be something other than a teen mom. Seriously, some of my 14 year old student's mothers are my age. MY AGE. I'm 28. Do the math....) And these co-workers of mine seem to only live for their precious children. I'm sorry I don't want to be a slave to my kids and only live for them. I'm sorry, I thought it was MY life. I'm not here solely to create kids and then be their maid and butler. No.

My point is, that I hate it here. I want to interact with people who have brains. I want culture. I don't want my kids to grow up here. I don't want to hear constant gay-bashing and racial slurs. I have a dream. Of equality. No chemical foods. No bratty kids. No judgement. People living differently, together, sharing, learning, becoming better as a community. Happiness. I want to find it. Only being at home, with my love and our dogs, can I truly be myself and be happy. But I can't stay here always. I'm ready for a change in scenery. In the mean time, I'll deal while saving money and planning for the future. Regardless of how I'm "doing it wrong".

I'm not a terrible person, I have been without seeing pure kindness in so long, kindness without expecting something in return, without agenda. I know it exists. I know I am not a dying breed. I know there are people like my husband and me out there. But they aren't here.

Anyway, that was my vent. I feel better. If anyone out there did read, thank you.

~elizabeth

Slim in 6 Results!

Here it is! I have lost a total of 17 pounds and 17.5 inches in 6 weeks! I completed this stage of my journey on Saturday, but I've been busy! My husband took me out for Valentines day Saturday night (we went to see Wicked!) and we definitely celebrated! It was a nice cheat :) I know I should be very proud of my progress, but I just don't feel done yet so I'm going to keep going!!

I started Slim Series Express today and the video I did was Cardio Sculpt Express and it was tough! My arms will definitely get tone and definition to them. I will keep you updated!

Also, I'm down a jean size :)

~elizabeth

Insert Creative Blog Post Title Here

Ok, so I couldn't come up with a good title for this post. My bad. Calm down, I said my bad! Ok, you'll be fine, just keep reading, maybe you'll forget all about it.

So I changed the motivational message on our chalk board for this month! By the time I weighed in with my group on fb I was down 13 pounds and I ended up winning the challenge! I felt amazing that I had to keep my spirit up and this message seemed just the thing to stare at all month.

Are you still thinking about the title?
 *silence*

......
So, I got my Cameron Diaz book! As you can see it's titled "The Body Book: The Law of Hunger, the Science of Strength, and Other Ways to Love Your Amazing Body". So far, so good! Cameron is witty so the read is pretty easy...granted I'm only on chapter 2 (so like, page 19) and I'm currently really into being as healthy as I can be. So if that's not your bag, you're going to read a few sentences and think, "Blah blah blah let's get a pizza" so if you are serious about your health, this could be very beneficial to you. I'll keep you updated.

Ok, How about we just call this post "untitled'? Would that make you happy? Silent treatment. Ok, I'll just continue talking:

My Slim Series Express also came in! I've been looking at it and investigating the new workout calendar (which I'll start after I complete Slim in 6...only a week and a few days left!). The new dvds use some of the workout from Slim in 6 to continue your journey. Yay!

Ok, you know what? This is MY blog, and if I want to name my post something LAME then that is MY problem, ok? Don't be so selfish, sheesh.......

Thanks for reading! :)

~elizabeth

Snow Days

Yesterday school let out early because of freezing rain. We were out of power when we got home, and it stayed out until around 10:00 last night. I went up to Justin's work and sat at the bar, charging my phone and laptop for the 3 hours he worked. At least I was warm and near him. My phone barely had service, so sitting at home in the dark, not being able to text him, sounded like the lesser option.

I was a bit distressed not having power...I wanted to work out. I was going to put my dvd in my laptop, not caring if I zapped the battery, but alas, my dvd was stuck in the player. Without electricity, I couldn't get the dvd out without disassembling the dvd player. And f* that. So I did my best to remember the workout, and I think I did pretty well!

When we got home we snuggled in bed, lit a candle, and put a movie on my fully charged laptop and then the power came back on. We set our clocks and turned everything off again and snuggled back up by the candlelight.

We are thankful to have power, but many people in our county are still without, we are also out of school tomorrow. My thoughts are with those still in the dark and to those working to get it turned back on.

~elizabeth

Day 30

Did you compare my new stats? No, your eyes are not tricking you, I have lost 12 pounds this past month since starting Slim in 6!!! I am so proud of myself! I have not only lost pounds, but I've lost inches!! Everywhere! I've gotten my waist back into the 20s! I woke up this morning and immediately did all my stats, I was so excited! It was like Christmas when you were a kid....because then you really didn't know what you were going to get. I am hoping for 5 more pounds these next two weeks....I gotta keep this momentum up! I ordered the Slim Series Express last night, it should be here in time for me to complete Slim in 6 and start the new program. I am hoping to lose at least 10 more pounds when I finished the second program, since it's a 30 day journey. Also....I bought a bikini yesterday :)

Whooooo!!! And GO SEAHAWKS! (not to mention all the cute puppies :)--and if you don't know what I mean by that then I am judging you...extra hard.)

~elizabeth

TWO weeks...

So I started level 3 of slim in 6 today! It is called BURN IT UP! And for good reason. I was already sweating and feeling the burn within the first 10 minutes! This final workout of the program is only 6 minutes longer than level 2, ramp it up! which was 55 minutes. It was definitely tough, but I can see that if I do my best and keep this up, I will definitely get results! Speaking of results...I do my 30 day weigh in, measurements, and pictures tomorrow! I am super excited. I don't think I've ever been more excited to weigh myself, ever. Let's take a moment, everyone, to pray for at least a 5 pound loss. (Go ahead, pause.) Ok. Thank you. That was nice. Any way, I'm thinking since I've been building up lean muscle, that my measurement difference will be more impressive than my weight loss, even over all when I'm finished. But still. I am seeing changes in myself and it just makes me even happier that I started this journey for me.

I have decided that closer to the end of this program, I am going to order the Slim Express series. It is designed for you to keep up your results after the Slim in 6. And yes, I want to keep it up! I'll be looking hot in North Carolina this summer! I don't mind too much, because my husband will be showing me off and my family will be impressed. Oh yes. I cannot wait!

I will have my 30 day report tomorrow! Until then, enjoy your Saturday night!

~elizabeth